girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
