How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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