you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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