I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
