Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
