So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
