he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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