like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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