come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
