Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
