Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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