Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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