Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
