last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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