so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
