You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
