We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize