I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
