Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
