2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
