i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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