absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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