I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
