The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
