she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
