Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
