Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
