i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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