Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
