im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
