Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
