shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
