You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm passing your future prison.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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