So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
