Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
