the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
