I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
