If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
