Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
time to smoke my breakfast
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
