Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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