No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
