my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
