She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
