i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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