So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
