Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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