we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
