I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
