i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
