dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
