Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
