3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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