I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.