so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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