I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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