If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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