Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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