My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
