I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
