he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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