reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize