he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize