So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
