...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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