i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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