His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
